Is it wise to continue with adoption process if my husband is not actively seeking help? He has made promises, but he has not contacted anyone to get help. He says he was going to do the course from Pure Life Ministries, but he does not have enough time as it is to do what he needs to do so I do not see how he will finish it. He tried to other online course and never finished them. We will be chosen by birth mother, so we do not have a baby waiting. I just keep thinking how this will affect our child and how the strain that this is on our marriage will be much worse with a crying colicky, teething baby. Babies do add stress to a marriage. I know how I was affected by the fact that my dad openly viewed pornographic magazines and movies in front of me growing up. Don't want my child to go through this.
But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible. Math 19:26
It is wise and brave of you to ask. I'm sure it isn't easy when it is something that you want, but I think it is time to set some clear boundaries with your dh so he knows just how serious it was for YOU growing up and that whether he is careful or NOT, it is not a risk you are willing to take. It is heartbreaking for a little girl to grow up and know her daddy looks at women 'that way' and for a boy to grow up thinking THAT is HOW they're supposed to look at women. THey may think it is a secret thing, but this bad boy seeps into every aspect of life and begins to manifest itself in ugly ways if it isn't dealt with...
It sounds as if he is not serious about recovery, though you would know better. Do you feel like he is wanting to be free?
Praying for you...praying you can talk with him about your concerns and that he hears you...
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18NIV
((HUGS)) I lived the reality too. Why do we question our own experiences? I know I have because I was told from early on that what I was feeling and/or thinking was inconvenient. Once we saw a counselor together it was so nice to have someone look at my DH and say, "No amount of words or worldly arguments are going to change the reality your wife has lived. She's lived it. It's not theory but a very real experience."
and love in Christ,
Inger Fear and lies fester in darkness. The truth may wound, but it cuts clean.
and love in Christ,
